How to Become Self-assured and Overcome Your Fears

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Afraid man hiding behind the black board

Self-confidence is a powerful driver to succeed in whatever you do. It motivates you to move forward, reach more and be a better version of yourself. But what if you have fears that block your confidence in yourself and your capabilities? Even the strongest people are afraid of something that others can hardly notice it because such people manage to cope with their fears and move on as though they didn’t have them at all.

Where do our fears come from? Usually, we are afraid of things that happened to us before and had negative consequences for us or things that are new to us. Thus, if you’ve had negative experience facing something, fear is a natural reaction. Yes, you can avoid facing it again if you wish but what you shouldn’t do is to be afraid of it.

The fear of familiar things

Analyze your previous experience carefully and understand why you don’t want to do it again. Let’s say you failed on your first job interview and is now deadly afraid of new attempts. Analyze all the mistakes you made and all the situations where you could perform better. Take some time to learn things you were asked by the interviewer but couldn’t answer properly. Remember that every new attempt is always better than the previous one. You can’t expect each job interview to be a disaster – you need to believe you can perform better next time instead of giving up because of fear inside you.

The fear of the unknown

If you are afraid of things you haven’t even faced earlier, it’s just your inner reaction to the unknown. You analyze the risks and realize they might have bad consequences for you. While some people love experimenting and adore risks, some are deadly afraid of new things. If you belong to the second group, there is still something you can do to become more confident in facing something new.

Take smaller steps towards overcoming your fears. You just can’t act against human nature and do major progress immediately. Approach your fears gradually to tackle them step by step. Or you will find it helpful to analyze someone who has already done the same thing you are afraid of. Let’s say you are decisive to leave your full-time job and start your own business. But you have too many fears that prevent you from doing this confidently. Choose a niche and analyze the competitors, find out how they started and how quickly they got some results. Looking at someone who has been in the same shoes you are now is always motivating. It helps you understand that you are not up to something impossible and what is preventing you from doing this is just your fear.

Unexplained fears

Or you might have certain fears that are difficult to understand. It seems like you are confident enough to do it, but when you start, your self-assurance disappears and you are stuck face-to-face with your fear. A good example to analyze is social fears and phobias. Let’s look deeper into the following scenarios:

  1. Fear to speak in public

You may read dozens of books and even attend a public speaking course, but something is wrong. What you should do is to prepare properly in advance. Practice your speech before a friend, mirror, camera. A well-prepared speech minimizes the fear of speaking in front of the public.

  1. Fear to speak to the boss

One of the reasons of this fear is that you see only THE BOSS. Try to analyze his personality, imagine him at home, with friends, at a party, or at your place. If you are still afraid, imagine the most negative scenario in your head: your boss shouting at you, barking like a dog and biting your leg. Can you imagine that? Funny fantasies reduce fears.

  1. Fear of talking to the opposite sex

Do you feel insecure with friends and colleagues of the opposite sex, or only with those you consider potential couples? In the first case, you can try to imagine that your friend is of the same gender as you are. If you like a person and cannot approach her/him, you are probably an introvert. Instead of making desperate attempts to talk, you can write! Text messages or even written notes are a good option to act.

Remember that in the majority of cases, fear is something that prevents us from the desired growth and turning dreams into reality. You know you can do it, you just need to boost your self-confidence and understand that your fears are not making you weaker – they are challenging you to find smart ways to achieve what you are up to.

Author Bio: My name is Lori Wade. I am a blogger and content writer. If you are interested in what I do, you can find me on Twitter here.

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